At the risk of being a bit of a downer I'm going to share a little about what I've been feeling again lately. Interesting, I know that it's a roller coaster that I'm on.. climbing to the height of elation just to plummet headlong to the lowest dip and be jerked and yanked round corners that were unforeseen, brought suddenly to a relieved (almost) stop and pulled slowly and steadily toward the peak again.. I want off the ride but as we all know ~ you can't get off until the ride is over.
Prattle, prattle.. blah, blah, blah... I really have nothing worth saying yet I prattle on. When I'm in a valley it is more important than ever that I am daily in the Word, talking with and listening to the one who knows my inmost being. Peak times have me rallied in the Spirit and overflowing with Him. Valley times have me weakly simpering a muddled prayer and hoping that He will be able to speak into my muddled mind. I KNOW the importance of the ride I am on, that there is learning, shaping and witnessing in every moment. So, 'giving it to the Lord' means knowing He is at the controls, throwing my hands up over my head while screaming (sometimes laughing)... and trusting. I'm thankful that he can use a simple vessel to bring Him glory and there is none simpler. I want to bring Him glory.
I think I'm done for the moment and now I'll go wash the breakfast dishes, put a load in the washing machine and run to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients for the heart-shaped pizzas that my husband still wants for Valentine's Day even though the girls aren't here. I'll curl in my curling spot on the couch with my Bible and pray for my family, being reminded once again of my MANY blessings. I'll shed a few quiet, amazed tears as I pray for the newest family member growing strong, safely snugged in it's growing place..
***
As I reread this I had an epiphany! Can a grammie suffer hormone imbalance because her daughter is pregnant? That's gotta be it. Agh, this family is too close. Way too close.
Ahhhhhhhhh. Bless your ♥! You've got the right idea--in the Word and talking/listening to the Lover of your Soul.....
ReplyDeleteHeart-shaped pizza can't hurt either :)
oh... can I ever so relate.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm in the seat ahead of you.
((All but the Grammie part and of the upcoming grandbaby. That is awesome!))
But I will say this. I DO BELIEVE that hormones in general play a huge role in my roller coaster moments.
especially mine... sometimes though that ride is so fast and furious I can't even hear myself thinking...to slow down enough to know that it's that.
AHHH!!!
Too close? Ah, how can there be such a thing. I'm remembering your sufferings in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteYep, I think so. Every single time one of the girls has been with a baby, I go through such a emotions. None greater than fear. Especially when it is a first baby. All of it I struggle with knowing that mountain first babies are to the new Mommy. I am much more emotional now at this age I think. I cry over everything. I will be so glad when this passes and I do find some kind of normal.
ReplyDeleteGod is the only thing that keeps me sane. His Word really becomes that light unto my path.
Hang in there it really is worth the ups and downs. :)
Oh, a new baby..they can change everyone:) Congrats!!
ReplyDeleteI am also hormonal (is that spelled right?) You would think I am too young but the doctor said I am not..At times I am on my knees crying out to the Lord to help this weak person because my body and my mind are so mixed up...I am learning to lean on Him knowing He has created me and this is just part of life He gives and takes away. I think that is what gives me more comfort than anything knowing that He is in Full control and that I can trust Him to take care of me and everyone near me. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts...Stay in His word and keep trusting in Him!!
God Bless you and your family,
~~Renee
Good news! The roller coaster ride does eventually even out.
ReplyDeleteAnd BETTER NEWS grandbabies are wonderful!
Happy Valentine's day!
I feel like you described many many days......I try to give it all up to the Lord, but I also believe that God helps those who help themselves, and being by myself, I have to plod along as best I can. I pray all the time too, and try to stay in the moment and not get more anxious worrying about the future. I blame a lot on menopause. ;-) xo
ReplyDeleteOh my dear friend I wish we were closer, we could ride this ride together! Praying for you Debbie...always!
ReplyDeleteOh - I am sure it is sympathetic hormones. :)
ReplyDeleteNo - I understand - I've been on a similar roller coaster lately.
Hang on tight on the down hills and enjoy the views on the way up! And all the other stuff you are already doing! You got this....and heart shaped pizza!
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot...A LOT!!....of people I know going through seasonal depression right now. We just need some sunshine!
ReplyDeleteHang in there,
Happy Valentines Day,
Cindy Bee
I'd love to come and wrap my arms around your hormonal self and give you a big hug. Then we'd chat and laugh and share and definitely talk about that new little someone who is in your lives. (I'd bring you a loaf of bread or a tray of cookies...but you've already told me you're not interested. ~mischievous grin~)
ReplyDeleteInstead, I'll pray that the Lord will continue to minister to you in His own perfect way!
Enjoy your Valentine's Day evening...and have a great weekend, reuniting with all of your children!
Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteHow were those heart shaped pizzas?
Deanna
I have been through those kinds of times also! Praying for you Debbie. Enjoy your weekend on the other side of the mountain :)
ReplyDeleteWell this seems to go with my post on Oh How He Love Me....I am with you...so many things changing around me...not from a daughter's pregnancy, that would be a joy, but life knocking us down, two marriages of my children in the next two weeks...and other decisions that are really hard to make...it truly is a time of transition here....so I too am in the valley, hearing His voice, wanting to bring Him glory.
ReplyDeleteThere with you sister in Christ...as you ride through the mountains may you see His face