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"Let's be cheerful"! We have no more right to steal the brightness out of the day for our own family than we have to steal the purse of a stranger. Let us be as careful that our homes are furnished with pleasant & happy thoughts as we are that the rugs are the right color and texture & the furniture comfortable and beautiful"! Laura Ingalls Wilder

Friday, July 22, 2011

be still



The waters are still a little murky.  Not tossing about like waves, nor turbulent.  Just kind of bothered at the surface.  It's hard to explain, so most of the time I don't really try.  Life is rich and full.  My days are filled with goodness and laughter... but then there's this dull rippling.  A shroud of tired that I wear under my jeans and tees, my fancy finery, my nightclothes.  I can't seem to remove it.  And as of late, I can't seem to hide it for very long.  What a blessing it is to have family and friends who make things that could be difficult... well, easier.  Such understanding surrounds me that I am in awe.




So, how strange that with all of these wonderful people around, I seem to want to be alone more.  I feel a deep need for solitude which I'm trying hard to fit into our busy schedule.  Ahem.  

Either God is telling me something... or it's menopause.

Blessings, Debbie
Posted by no spring chicken at 12:01 AM
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38 comments:

  1. JaneJuly 22, 2011 at 3:32 AM

    If it helps, you are not the only one. Just have to ride it out.

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  2. Tracey ~ CloverJuly 22, 2011 at 3:52 AM

    I second Jane as I have been having the same feelings here too. Our age maybe? Regardless, please know that you're love and someone is thinking of you way over here. xx

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  3. JuliaJuly 22, 2011 at 4:06 AM

    I think that God made us this way so that we shift our gears and slow down enough to hear him. It's not always easy. JB

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  4. karenJuly 22, 2011 at 4:17 AM

    I struggle with the summer's busy schedule. I look forward to University drop off days knowing I will miss them but I do miss my quiet boring days.

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  5. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 4:36 AM

    I love solitude! It could be they result of having teens. I know my daughter talks to me nonstop and since I am "getting up in age" I feel like (secretly of course) putting earplugs in sometime! lol.
    love,andrea

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  6. Farming On FaithJuly 22, 2011 at 4:37 AM

    I for sure think those hormones are changing us~ I am with you!


    However you have a beautiful~ beautiful family. Cherish the moments and enjoy the journey. It is passing us by way to fast.

    I sent up a prayer for you this morning!

    Blessings~
    Carrie

    Isaiah 41:10

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  7. Pom PomJuly 22, 2011 at 4:40 AM

    I'm not sure what to think about menopause, but I take comfort knowing "this too shall pass" when it bewilders me. I find I need solitude more and more, to say to Jesus, "I know you will take care of me." I like you so much, Debbie. I wish you lived closer.

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  8. RebeccaJuly 22, 2011 at 4:51 AM

    Dear one, It's probably not either/or. And it's not unusual or wrong. I believe God is planting a great yearning in His children for HIM and His return. Too often we try to "fix" it or "fill" it with people, busyness, things, etc.

    At the risk of sounding trite, I say, "Bring it to the Light! Let Him inspect, remove, bless, heal, etc. according to His wisdom, mercy and grace.♥

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  9. Cheryl July 22, 2011 at 4:53 AM

    Sweet Debbie...the "dull rippling"...I think I know what you mean...although it could be that I do not. I would never presume, across these many miles, that I can get into your mind and into your heart and know exactly how you feel...but, of course, He does! What a comfort to know that He who created us and made us who we are KNOWS what we need and when we need it, even better than we know ourselves.
    Praying that He continues to walk close beside you through the murkiness...
    {{{Caring hugs}} to you, my friend across the miles...

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  10. TannaJuly 22, 2011 at 5:04 AM

    I agree with what Cheryl said just above me. And, menopause is tough. I didn't expect it to be. Kind of a blindside. I am thankful every day for bioidentical hormones. I'm glad you have wonderful friends and family. blessings ~ tanna

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  11. Janettessage.blogspot.comJuly 22, 2011 at 6:01 AM

    Oh I have been there and still hit it at times...I keep thinking if I could just get away by myself to a cabin and just be quiet for a day or two I could pull it all together. I have even cried out in prayer for that. Then I realize that God knows what is going on and if I stop and look for the way He wants to re-energize me than I will make it through this feeling. I don't like it...it doesn't seem like me.

    Blessings as God continues to meet you there and all the loving ones around you minister to you...maybe that is exactly what God wants to happen.

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  12. CanadagirlJuly 22, 2011 at 6:57 AM

    I think I know that feeling well. When I feel those types of feelings I pray to the Lord..." if this is not from you Lord please take it away or help me feel calmer in your name Yeshua, Thank you Amen." I am amazed at how that works. Also I have been finding lately when I feel very unsettled inside that I take a extra teaspoon of NutraSea +D fish oil and it really gives me more feeling of balance. I am amazed at what fish oil does physically and emotionally too. [o=

    Ohhh here is a tid bit for you...

    How does it fish oil help menopausal women? Dr. Barry Sears, author of the Anti-Inflammatory Diet (of which fish oil is a key component) believes that the plunge in estrogen levels during menopause causes an increase in the production of insulin, which can be reduced or even eliminated by fish oil.

    I pray this was a blessing to you my friend. (((HUGS)))
    In Him<><
    -Mary

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  13. TrishaJuly 22, 2011 at 7:03 AM

    Debbie,
    You must read the prescription I posted today, then. :)

    Seriously, though, I'm praying for you!

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  14. Leslie July 22, 2011 at 7:13 AM

    Your description is so apt and the pictures are perfect. I have been struggling with some pain lately and I can relate to what you wrote a little bit. I get impatient with my body and I have to remember God has a purpose in this. Sigh.

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  15. Farm GirlJuly 22, 2011 at 7:51 AM

    Being quiet is always a good choice, but then it might be the change going on inside of us. Just like when we were little girls and we were changing now we are changing too. I notice it brings the same kind of sadness. A deep one that I can't ever seem to explain. I need God more than ever before and I put myself in His arms. I look at my life and I am so blessed. So I just start counting blessings one by one.
    It just ain't for sissy's. I will pray you feel better. My grandmother became a drug addict because the doctor prescribed Valium as a way to get through it. I think God is better.

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  16. camp and cottage livingJuly 22, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    Dear Debbie,
    I, too, have experienced that in the past. Mine was definitely related to menopause. It does pass. But I had to really rely on the Lord to see me through. And he did. And I know he will see you through it too. My prayers are with you.

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  17. amanda {the habit of being}July 22, 2011 at 9:06 AM

    either way, He'll see you through...go easy on yourself :)

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  18. LisaJuly 22, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    I hear you as I can so relate. Farm Girl (above) said it very well. :) I'll keep you in my prayers... ~Lisa

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  19. deila taylorJuly 22, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    I say that we are at the mercy of our hormones, and somedays you just don't feel good, and can't even put a reason behind it. I just walked over 4 miles, and that does seem to help. Now for my soy shake, I keep trying. Love the photos.

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  20. CanadagirlJuly 22, 2011 at 10:01 AM

    I forgot to mention make sure it is the bottle of liquid fish oil and not capsules. The capsules are sooooooooo much for expensive in the long run. You take a dixi cup fill 1/4" of apple juice and 1 tsp of fish oil and drink like a shooter. It is soooo much more economical this way.

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  21. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Solitude is wonderful, but so is time with family.
    Menopause is, well, weird.

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  22. It's Just DottieJuly 22, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Oh my I feel the same way!!!
    Dottie

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  23. Tammy@T's Daily TreasuresJuly 22, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    I could have written this myself, but I don't think I would have said it so eloquently. You have voiced exactly how I feel much of the time. I crave solitude! Peace and quiet to me is the best part of every day. Have a great weekend. Tammy

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  24. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    Hello.. O my goodness I feel for you.. been there and still slip in and out - to every season thereis changes happens..
    Keep writting your thoughts and sing a lot - wanting Solitude is good (a little bit daily) not a huge amounts - minds you -- Okay.. be care to allow yourself to be uplifted in the smallest steps towards feeling your way out..of this murky waters..we all experience murky waters -- we just gotta keep trusting the Lord he knows what's best for us" hang on to that..hugs my sweet friend.. here is another hug!

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  25. AnonymousJuly 22, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    You do have to keep a sense of humor during these times. I can relate very much (although I'm just a wee bit & I mean wee bit early for menopause). Reread your 'So This is Me' words. Focus on Christ. Take eyes off yourself. (So easy to say, not easy at all to do ~ I'm telling this to myself by the way.)

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  26. DonnaJuly 22, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    Debbie, your voice so often mirrors my swirling thoughts. I have come through menopause for the most part and it changed me...I kept trying to reassure my husband that the real me would be back, and I am mostly.
    Be gentle with you...
    Prayers...
    Donna

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  27. The dB familyJuly 22, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    I'm not quite there yet, but those early little hints are starting. I will lift you up in my prayers.

    Blessings!
    Deborah

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  28. Julie HarwardJuly 22, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    It's the evilness of menopause...believe me, been there done that. Have you been to a doctor for a real good check up? Do it! I went and found out that my thyroid wasn't even working, got that adjusted and on some vitimins and all is A-OK! :D

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  29. Nellie's Cozy PlaceJuly 23, 2011 at 5:48 AM

    Morning Debbie,
    Thanks for dropping by for a visit. Nice to meet another sister in Christ here in blogland. There are lots of us, which has been quite exciting for me to learn.
    I have to say that as I get older I don't quite have the stamina that I once had.....a few days of running and I am exhausted. I have passed through menopause and it was not a fun time of life....I remember thinking on many occasions,
    who is this woman Lord, and get her out, I can't stand her..........but slowly I have come back to my old self, but the tiredness comes and goes at times, many times I feel they are hormonal fluxuations that are still happening. I thought once you passed thru it would all be over, not so with me, still having m dreaded hot flashes
    (Which felt more like hell flashes) at times,
    mainly because of what they did to me......
    but now also cold spells, thank heavens!! Maybe sweater weather will come to me one of these days like the rest of the elderly ladies....one can only hope!! lol

    One of my Pastors wives who was in her 70's gave me a wonderful piece of advice, that I wish someone would have given me years before. I was going thru and angry phase, and she prayed for me but told me to get up every morning and pray and turn my emotions over to the Lord for Him to control them, so I did that, and it made a huge difference for me when I was faithful to do it. I could certainly tell the difference when I did and when I didn't. Oh I prayed daily, but never thought to ask him specifically to control my emotions..........I am just thinking, I am gonna start doing that with my tiredness too,
    and see what happens.....

    Blessings Galore hon,
    Nellie

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  30. MaryannJuly 23, 2011 at 7:43 AM

    Perhaps it's time to retreat a little, take a day alone, praying God will refresh you. I am planning to do that this weekend myself

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  31. KarenJuly 23, 2011 at 8:37 AM

    As a teenager, we used to sing this little chorus that comes to mind at times like this.: God has something to say to you. God has something to say. Listen, listen, pay close attention. God has something to say!
    Thankfully, He's always speaking, no matter what state I'm in!

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  32. Saleslady371July 23, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    I love solitude. It energizes me the way some get energized around people. Recently on days I'm home alone, I keep part of the day without radio and TV, really quiet, just in case God wants to speak. I'm listening! Have a great weekend, Debbie!

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  33. KnitterMamaJuly 23, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    Oh hahahahaha. I think that maybe it is not either/ or too, but only you know. Solitude is something I am craving myself these days, but it is such a precious commodity. When I have it, I have no idea how to spend it! Sending warmth to you from across the way.

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  34. MaryJuly 23, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    Even with my children still so young, the quiet time in the afternoon while everyone is resting is my sanity. When I saw your Laura Ingalls Wilder quote at the top of this page, I knew we'd be kindred spirits. I'm happily following your blog now. :)

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  35. AnonymousJuly 24, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    I have been peri-menopause for like 8 years. It is like my nerves are on end, it is hard for me to just relax and be still. It is hard to explain. It is just not me, is all I know xoox Clarice

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  36. SueJuly 24, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    Dear Debbie, if it is menopause, I promise it will pass, (voice of experience speaking) If it is God speaking you will soon know, enjoy listening to His voice. I grab every moment of solitude I can get. I just read a post by my friend Cheryl of living in the moment with God and was so blessed, May God continue to pour His blessings upon you, as you are such a delight, and I am so glad to count you among my friends
    Hugs,
    Sue

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  37. justamouseJuly 24, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    I don't think it's meno, I think it's the age. So much going on inside that you can't really talk about it. I grab as much solitude as I can.

    I love your knitting!

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  38. Buttons ThoughtsJuly 24, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    Oh Debbie I wish I could give you a big hug. I have been there or maybe I am still there. Mine is not menopause or maybe it is. It does not matter either way you will get through this trying time just like I have been trying to do. Life is good rely on your family. I love staying in my PJ's and being alone these days also. Take care. I really wish you could feel this hug I have for you. It will pass. Lovely worded post.B

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